This past week has been pretty down and depressing for me. Wednesday I had a melt down. Every time I try to cling on to hope, there is cold depressing thought that may be we are not meant to be parents. Ever. It breaks my heart. May be this is finally when I am coming to terms with the fact that infertility is real. There is no wishing it away. Each time I see a Mom’s day ad on TV. I feel sad, lost and desolate. I wonder if ever someone will call me that.

What bothers me at times is that DH does not seem to experience the sense of loss I feel. He seems to be pretty balanced and accepting of the fact that it might just be the two of us. For life.

I try and tell myself that I need to feel positive and hope that acupuncture will work. The IUI’s we have planned next will work. Some day we will see those two pink lines.

My heart cries out. When???